I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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