Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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