I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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