At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
