Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
