Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
