guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dignity is for republicans.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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