i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
