Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
