you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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