Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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