I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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