I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
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