no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
