TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
