he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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