We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
