Cold hands, warm shart.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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