I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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