My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
