We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
