worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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