I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize