His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
