I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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