who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
