redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
