i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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