No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
