I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
