Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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