i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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