Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
