Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
