he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
