I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I've blown a few things in my day
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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