The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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