I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
