Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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