He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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