I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mom said you looked used
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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