I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
