Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
