I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
