dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
