i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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