How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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