i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
