At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she told me i tasted like america
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
