I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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