Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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